Earth Day/T-Day Anniversary

Yesterday was Earth day but I missed blogging because I was on my way home from an absolutely lovely trip to New Orleans with my sisters.

Here are some Earth day/T-day posts from previous years: (I celebrated this Tumor Day 4th anniversary by not having a seizure.)  :)

2016

2015

2014

Home

A couple of weeks ago Keith, the kids and I took a trip back to my parent's place for a family reunion. Alex, my youngest sibling, had returned from his mission and school would start soon so it was the first time in a while that we could be all together.

While we were there our good friends Ian and Cheryl, now retired, were staying in their 5th-wheel in our backyard for the summer. They live part of the year in California and part in Washington (with a bit of road-trippin' in between). They they have become, by far, the closest neighbors we have ever had! Cheryl took a lot of photos while we were there, mostly of the kids, but also of our home. I was beginning to sort out pics for a post on our trip when I realized that I kept on getting caught up in the memories and emotions that these pictures brought back. This is the only home I had ever known. We moved in shortly before I was born and I never moved until I left for collage.

At first I hesitated to make a blog post about home just because it could get so long. There is so very much in each picture that I could talk about! (I will try very hard to not give too much narrative.) And how could I possibly choose which pictures to include and which to cut! I also worried about sounding like I was bragging. In the end I decided that this place and the memories I made here meant too much to me to not share it. Even if it is just for my own sake.

 

Our elementary school bus stop was at the end of the long gravel driveway. You can't see the end from the house, but we had a very protective black boarder collie named Hector who would take us to catch the bus each morning. He would walk with us to the end of the driveway, wait with us for the bus and then as soon as the bus door closed he would turn around and go back up to the house. Mom would be watching for him to come back and when he did she would know that we were safely on the bus. Some how he always knew when the bus would be coming back at the end of the school day because when we got off he would be waiting there to walk us back up to the house. He went everywhere with us.

 

 To this day, big cedars bring back strong memories of home. When my dad cleared the land that he grew up on, and that our house now is on, he left many of the big trees. These cedars are some of them.

 

I remember how difficult it was as a kid to open and close this rickety old gate. We drove the old red tractor through it to take hay to the lower shed, we opened it to get escaped sheep back in. This is also the view that I would see if I looked left as I pumped my legs harder and harder, to fly my swing higher and higher, on the wooden big toy my dad built. 

  Hydrangeas. They are green (at least the white ones) for the longest time before they turn into their respective lovely colors. As a kid I remember thinking that they were quite plain and drab looking when they were green and wondering why Mom didn't replace them with something showier. I rather like their delicate little blossoms now.

 

I always forget what these are called (Mom? Sarah? feel free to comment and remind me) but I have always liked them. My Grandma Temus, who lived just on the other side of the apple orchard from us, had them in hanging baskets each summer. I remember how fun it was to pop the buds and how much she would get after us if she caught us.

 

The back of the side of the house as seen from Ian and Cheryl's 5th-wheel. The hot tub is a new addition. Sadly they got that after all the kids had left home.

 

 Black-eyed Susan's. Can't have too many of these. I remember how much Mom seemed to enjoy working in her flower garden, thus the flowers bring back happy memories.

I can't remember a time when this old rusty plow (sorry Dad, I know it was more of a rake attachment thing...) wasn't in this spot. I love it.


 One of my absolute favorite things about home is watching the sunset from the large back windows that face west. Our house was built on the top of a hill and the view of the sunsets are spectacular.

I remember when my mom redid the flower garden circle in the driveway. It was surrounded by rocks before without the statue. The statue took a bit of getting used to at first (especially because it was white when we got it) but the sad part was getting rid of the large flat boulder at the bottom of the circle. It was so much fun to play on. Funny how little things are so important to kids.
 

 

 There were always a lot of shoes at the front entry way. I still remember Mom calling us to come pick them up and choose ONE pair to leave. It was a futile effort.

Pickles. Nothing like Mom's pickles. It was Joe's and my job to pick the grape leaves to put in the bottom of the jar. Mom would show us with her hands what size she wanted and the two of us would go down to the garden and pick some. Upon return she would throw out the ones that didn't make the cut, pick out a sample one to send us with and we would go back down.

We were each assigned a row or two of corn and other vegetables to weed each Saturday before we could go do anything else. It felt like slave labor often times. But once the corn got big we had a grand time playing in them!

 Squash and pumpkins. Mmmmm! Each fall we would each pick a pumpkin and haul them up to the house in wheel barrows to be carved. The biggest one, which Dad always would carve (with some input from the rest of us), was always the most exciting one. I think there is a picture of each us as a baby sitting in a carved pumpkin. I don't think any of us are exactly smiling about the situation.

Speaking of autumn. We never got a single trick-or-treater the entire time we lived there. I guess no one was too keen on driving up a long, dark, unfamiliar driveway.

  Raspberry jam. Raspberry syrup. Raspberry blueberry jam. Raspberry rhubarb jam. Yum.

 Go down and pick berries. Go back up with bowl only to have Mom tell you that you didn't get enough. Go back down. Repeat. It took a long while, but I am proud to say that I am now quite good at picking raspberries. Hint: there are an awful lot hiding under the leaves.

Pruning and tying raspberry bushes is also where I learned the square-knot. Yup. I was quite proud of that as a child.

A lot has changed over the years, but there is a whole lot that has stayed the same. I didn't have a perfect childhood. No one has. But I am well aware that mine was blessed. Blessed to live where my father was raised. Blessed to have so much freedom to roam. Blessed to grown-up interacting with so many animals. Blessed to have had been raised where work was a requirement in so many ways. (I wouldn't have thought about it that way when I was struggling to carry a 5-gallon bucket of water down to the chicken coup after dark or pruning apple trees.) Blessed with parents who never stopped trying to be the best parents they could be. Blessed to grow-up where, out of necessity almost, my siblings became my best friends. Blessed to have a whole lot of space to be alone to think, cry, look at the stars, talk to God and ponder the big things in life.

I don't write all this to boast about how good I have it, or to show off; but rather to acknowledge and give thanks for the blessings that I have been given and the profound influence they have had on my life.

No matter how many homes I have, or places I live throughout my life, coming back here will always feel like coming home.

 

Thank you so much Cheryl for capturing this special place!

We Live in a Beautiful World

 Whenever I hear the song of a bird

 Or look at the blue, blue sky,

 

Whenever I feel the rain on my face

 

Or the wind as it rushes by,

(not exactly a velvet rose...)

Whenever I touch a velvet rose

 

Or walk by our lilac tree,

 

I'm glad that I live in this beautiful world

Heavenly Father created for me.

 

He gave me my eyes that I might see

The color of butterfly wings.

He gave me my ears that I might hear

The magical sound of things.

 

He gave me my life, my mind, my heart:

 

I thank him reverently

 

For all his creations, of which I'm a part.

 

Yes, I know Heavenly Father loves me.

Keith and I were (partially) joking last night about how nice it would be if my first seizure and the discovery of the tumor had been on a day that is easier to forget. I have been thinking about that today and I think it may be a good thing that it is on a day that is not only easily remembered but a day to celebrate some of God's greatest gifts. Each year I can look back and see how many blessings He has given me and how He has guided me along the way.

At the very least, it is a great day to give thanks that I am still here on this beautiful earth that I love and enjoy so much.

And someday, on this day, I will be able to look back and give thanks that the seizures are gone. That day will come. I know it.

Happy Earth Day!

One Year

Today (Earth Day, of all days) marks one year from that first Grand-Mal seizure and the diagnosis of the tumor. Although we still have struggles we have come a long way since then. So today we celebrate not the first seizure, but all the progress since then and the many angels (on earth and in Heaven) that have aided us this year; the hardest year of my life.

I am so grateful for Keith who always made me feel like we were in this together. He gave me a shoulder to cry on every time I needed it (which was a lot). I am thankful for my two wonderful children who gave me a reason to keep going. Especially for Charlie who, although he was scared each time I had a seizure, would hold my hand during it and was always helpful and caring after it.

I also want to thank my extended family who supported me by long visits when I needed them most and gave their support and encouragement. Also, thanks to my many wonderful doctors who gave me wonderful care all along the way and those who are still caring for me. My ward was great with arranging play-dates, bringing meals, offering rides and just encouraging me. I have dear friends that have come and stayed with me, taken me to get pedicures (quite the treat), driven me places, sent sweet cards and letters and gave me the best birthday week ever.

I also thank my Heavenly Father who sent me little blessing when I needed them, to show me He cared. For instance, when I came home from the hospital and was really discouraged and overwhelmed at the diagnosis, I saw three new birds come to my feeder in less than a week. It is really strange that in such a short time three new birds would visit my feeder after having it up for two years. I haven't seen them anywhere else since then. That may not seem like a big deal to most, but to me it was a tender mercy showing that He was aware of what I was facing and He loves me personally. I am really overwhelmed with gratitude for all the love that has been shown to me.

This past year I have gone from having an average of 16 seizures every day to now one every week or so. That is a huge relief and serious progress. This past year I have had eight Gran-Mal seizures, one sweet baby, several MRIs, tried four different anti-covulsant medications (without much success) and one brain surgery. That is a lot for one year and I desperately hope that it will never be repeated.

Here's to a better year and a brighter future.

Playing Catch-Up

A ton has happened since I last blogged. So I am going to just give a summary. There are a lot of pictures. Here we go...

The 3-generation pixie cut picture and Charlie helping Ama sing to Jane.

My mom stayed with us for two months while I recovered from surgery and tried to figure out the whole seizure thing. I am still having them but hopefully this new med will do the trick. Hopefully?


It snowed!


Mom helped Charlie (or is it the other way around?) build a snowman right outside our window so he could watch it get small, small, small.
Mom went home. :(


We did a little bit of yoga and went on few walks.

 

Aunt Liz and Ben came!

I love the picture on the left. It looks like they are deep in conversation.

So Jane got to meet her cousin Ben for the first time.

Ben likes to put his mouth on every cup or water bottle that his mommy does.

Charlie shared his cars and trucks with Ben, which means love.


Jane discovered her feet, which I think is super cute.


Charlie got a big boy bed (we just took one of the sides off his crib until we move the big bed that our multitude of guests have been sleeping on into his room), and is potty training! He can now keep his pants dry all day but has yet to poop in the potty. We have tried a lot of things but any advice is welcomed.


Charlie learned the hard way that you shouldn't run with your hands in your pockets.


Charlie also parked his cars on the piano (which he has done for quite some time I just have never been sneaky enough to get a picture of it), discovered basket ball (the hoops are high), and "helped" me make pie for pi-day (okay, so that picture is more recent, I just wanted to put it in).


Charlie did tummy time with Jane, Jane is learning to sit up (which she is very excited about until she does a face plant), and Jane discovered rain.



Keith got a few job offers and after narrowing it down to two (Fargo, ND and Kinston, NC) the company in Fargo flew us all out to check out the area. Charlie's first words after exiting the small airport in Fargo were "My face is cold." Yep, cold (very, very cold), windy, flat, with very few trees. Also has great people, good schools, and stores that carry a lot of Charlie's low-pro foods. But did I mention that it is cold and flat?

So we went back home and Keith accepted the job in Kinston, NC. But as soon as he did we both felt unsure about the decision. I just kept on thinking about it being incredibly cold in North Dakota.
Keith, who had a field site in Kinston, suggested that we take a drive there to see the area. So we did, and it was sad and scary. There were these big southern houses that were abandoned and falling apart. Crime was high and schools were terrible.


We did stop at a bar-b-que place that had very southern food. I got collards, fried okra (classic southern food) and carolina bar-b-que (of course). They also advertised fried chicken livers and fried chicken gizzards. I passed on those.

Then we hit Winterville which is a very small community outside of Greenville that was very nice. We kept on thinking of ways we could make living there work (the stores didn't carry any of Charlie's food so we could make trips to Raleigh once a month, etc). I realized on the drive back that if I lived in Winterville I would never want to venture outside of it due to how terrible the rest of the area is.
I reminded myself again of how cold it gets in Fargo and so when we picked Charlie up from our friends place we told them that we were pretty sure we were sticking with North Carolina.

That night, after the kids were asleep, Keith and I sat on the couch and thought things over. In the end we came to the conclusion that we should move to Fargo. Immediately we felt at peace. So Fargo here we come! (In September). Keith and I made a deal that every January/February, when I start going stir crazy I can fly to some place warmer.

Which isn't hard to do when the high with windchill is sometimes below -30 degrees Fahrenheit.