To be honest, there have been several times during the last few days when the knowledge that we are in the last week before the surgery has made it really hard to keep smiling. I keep finding myself thinking "When will the next time be that I can (crunch leaves, sing with Charlie, hold Jane, write a note, go for a walk, etc.)." There are times when the unknowns of my recovery scare me and make me want to just hide away while the anxiety sets in. When these moments hit I have come to find that the most effective way to pull out of it is to quickly pray for help and then repeat to myself "Now. Focus on now." I don't want to let fear rob me of the happy moments that are happening now. Several times each day as that lump grows in my throat and I want to sob and yell all at the same time (and sometimes I give in and just do), I force myself to breathe and focus on the good things that are happening right at that moment.
Why am I telling you this? For one, I don't want any one reading this, who is going through a tough time, comparing themselves to me based on what they read on this blog. I have learned (and am still learning) that it doesn't do any good to compare yourself to others, especially through a blog. Second, there are countless people out there praying and fasting for me, my family, and the doctors operating on me. I want you to know that your prayers and faith, along with the love of family and friends, is what keeps me from completely loosing it. Your prayers have not made my hard times go away, but they have made it so I can pull through them. Thank you.
Now on to the pictures!
|Getting ready to chop onions... Keith means business...|
|Vegging out after the feast. We got together with several other young couples in our ward for Thanksgiving. There are four babies in this picture. Lovely Emily next to me (holding Jane) is expecting.|
|Friday's walk around Lake Raleigh. When we put the mittens on Charlie, he insisted on having them clipped together. They made easy toddler handcuffs.|
|Charlie still can't resist a good set of stairs.|
|Charlie watching the waterfall|
|Superdad carrying both kids|