Tuesday, April 22, 2014

One Year

Today (Earth Day, of all days) marks one year from that first Grand-Mal seizure and the diagnosis of the tumor. Although we still have struggles we have come a long way since then. So today we celebrate not the first seizure, but all the progress since then and the many angels (on earth and in Heaven) that have aided us this year; the hardest year of my life.

I am so grateful for Keith who always made me feel like we were in this together. He gave me a shoulder to cry on every time I needed it (which was a lot). I am thankful for my two wonderful children who gave me a reason to keep going. Especially for Charlie who, although he was scared each time I had a seizure, would hold my hand during it and was always helpful and caring after it.

I also want to thank my extended family who supported me by long visits when I needed them most and gave their support and encouragement. Also, thanks to my many wonderful doctors who gave me wonderful care all along the way and those who are still caring for me. My ward was great with arranging play-dates, bringing meals, offering rides and just encouraging me. I have dear friends that have come and stayed with me, taken me to get pedicures (quite the treat), driven me places, sent sweet cards and letters and gave me the best birthday week ever.

I also thank my Heavenly Father who sent me little blessing when I needed them, to show me He cared. For instance, when I came home from the hospital and was really discouraged and overwhelmed at the diagnosis, I saw three new birds come to my feeder in less than a week. It is really strange that in such a short time three new birds would visit my feeder after having it up for two years. I haven't seen them anywhere else since then. That may not seem like a big deal to most, but to me it was a tender mercy showing that He was aware of what I was facing and He loves me personally. I am really overwhelmed with gratitude for all the love that has been shown to me.

This past year I have gone from having an average of 16 seizures every day to now one every week or so. That is a huge relief and serious progress. This past year I have had eight Gran-Mal seizures, one sweet baby, several MRIs, tried four different anti-covulsant medications (without much success) and one brain surgery. That is a lot for one year and I desperately hope that it will never be repeated.

Here's to a better year and a brighter future.


greysquirrelb said...

Dearest Katie,

Thank you soooo very much for sharing this post. It is so beautiful, heartfelt and real. My heart goes out to you, Katie, I can't believe what a year you have had and wish so much I could make it better...but I bet you have gained so much through your experiences because of who you are and how you approach life. I pray your seizures continue to become less and less frequent. Is that the prediction? With whatever brain surgery you have had did that help? Man, I wish I could be there and give you a big hug right now, I wish I could help you in some way. My words feel inadequate.

I love you and will hold you in my prayers dear Katie.

Loves, Becky Castleton

greysquirrelb said...

Dearest Katie,

I've spent the evening reading over your past year plus...I'm sorry to have been out of touch with you for so long, but I appreciate greatly your posts, your authenticity, your humor and happiness, and your perspective. What a lifetime of experiences you've had these past few years - my eyes are wet, my heart is full as I marvel at the experiences you and your family have had. You are all in my prayers - thank you for sharing about Brooke, that post touched me deeply and I ached for your family's loss, and loved the beauty in Sarah and Darren. Thank you for sharing the song "Blessings" - really appreciated hearing it.

As I looked at you in the hospital, and read through this past year, I was moved by your descriptions of your own thoughts, the realness of your experience, the gift that you are still here. Thinking of you with those seizures makes my heart ache - I will pray that the decreasing trend continues and that you are able to manage your two little dears, so glad you've had family visiting and helping. And best wishes to Keith with all his schooling/work. You two are amazing - a great team.

This is long, sorry! No words to adequately describe my thoughts, although apparently I tried :)

Love you with all my heart - thank you for who you are.
Becky Castleton

Liz said...

This is a sweet post, Katie-did. You really have done an amazing job of balancing perspective this past year. I know it's not an easy thing, and we all stand in awe. Love you so much. I'm so glad we can be there when we need each other the most.

Liz said...
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branches 'n' twigs said...

What a year indeed! We love you like crazy and pray for you many times each day. We're grateful you know how your in His hands. We love you and think you're super amazing!!